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SpeedDating(SM): A Timesaving Guide to Finding Your Lifelong Love, by Yaacov Deyo, Sue Deyo
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If you're ready to end the dating phase of your life forever by finding your lifelong love, you're ready for: SpeedDating
With SpeedDating, a comprehensive dating guide, you'll speed through the dating phase of your life into a committed, lifelong relationship, avoiding go-nowhere entanglements and other dating pitfalls.
The dating-world myth that evaluating a relationship takes months and months -- or worse, years and years -- causes unnecessary emotional complications, heartache, and time spent in dead-end relationships. With this book in hand, you'll know before you invest your heart whether a relationship has a future. And when you fall in love, SpeedDating will help you determine if that love can last a lifetime. The SpeedDating process helps you find your lifelong love -- not a fleeting romance that leaves you back where you began -- single. SpeedDaters save the romance for the right relationship.
SpeedDating is best known for its fast, fun, 7-minute round-robin dating events, which have been featured in major media such as the New York Times and People. But the SpeedDating approach shared in this book takes you beyond the first date to help you reach your goal: marriage in the quickest possible time to a person you love who will cherish the real you forever.
Whether you're new to the dating scene, a veteran, or just returning, SpeedDating will put you on the fast track to a healthy, committed, lifelong relationship.
- Sales Rank: #1217146 in eBooks
- Published on: 2009-10-13
- Released on: 2009-10-13
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Yaacov Deyo is a graduate of Harvard, where he studied physics and Nicaraguan land reform. On a grant from Harvard, he was involved in conflict resolution in Belfast, Ireland. Returning home, he ran a homeless shelter in Boston. In 1996 he was ordained as a rabbi after seven years of advanced study at the Aish HaTorah Yeshiva. Yaacov and his students created SpeedDating events to help Los Angeles Jewish singles meet each other.Within a year, SpeedDating expanded to more than twenty-five cities worldwide and was featured in major media, including the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, People, the View, the Early Morning Show on CBS, NPR, and more. Currently Yaacov runs SpeedDating Worldwide, lectures on SpeedDating principles, and is the educational director of Aish Los Angeles, one of the largest Jewish education centers in the country.
Most helpful customer reviews
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
Don't Date Without This Book!
By A Customer
When you're ready to stop wasting time dating the wrong person, read this book. The Speeddating way is to ask your date the right questions early in the courtship to spot the red flags BEFORE you find yourself deeply involved with this person for the wrong reasons-reasons like convenience, security/lifestyle or simply because the sex is just too good! Asking targeted questions also helps you to discover your own core values and to search for a life partner who will share those values. The methodology outlined in this book significantly reduces the pain of dating. Believe me!
Reading this book gave me new insight into why I married my ex-husband. We were what the authors call "defaulters-those who become so enmeshed in a relationship before making a commitment that they never really know where dating ends and the relationship begins." After living together in college and then moving cross country together for his law school, we eventually felt obligated toward marriage. We'd joke that our grandchildren's running gag about us would be, "Our grandparents lived together for 30 years and were married for 3." So we ultimately married because we couldn't imagine living without each other-not because we were so deeply in love-but because our coupledom was such a comfortable and professional and economically sustaining habit and because everyone in our families treating us accordingly. It took this book to clarify the obvious: that dating is a process, dating is not the relationship. Based on a system of core values that started to emerge when we discussed having children, my ex and I couldn't have been more diametrically opposed in the areas of religion, lifestyle and balancing household responsibilities.
So, please, save yourself heartache and years of treading water in a wrong relationship. If you're not on the same page as your partner, it's because YOU didn't ask the right questions and align yourself with someone whose heart is in the same place as yours. You want to be with someone in whom you see greatness and who sees greatness in you. This book shows you how to take responsibility for who you really are and how to attract the partner who will help you realize your full potential.
17 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
Is this my soul mate?
By Rebecca of Amazon
"For someone seeking a meaningful and lasting relationship, today's dating scene can be brutal. You meet someone, begin dating, date more seriously, fall into a semi or full-time living-together arrangement-and then it doesn't work out, leaving one or both of you heartbroken."
If you are a hopeless romantic, you probably think you will simply find the right person and get married. Not to mention living happily ever after. But do you know the right questions to ask? This book is more about applying the fundamental skills of SpeedDating to your own relationships and is based on the tenets of Jewish philosophy and wisdom.
Speed Dating is about saving time in the dating process. If "What was I thinking" is your lament, then this book will provide the questions you should ask yourself, your date and others so you can evaluate your relationships more quickly before you commit hours of your time to a person you might really not be compatible with.
You will learn:
How to eliminate time-wasting, heartbreaking relationship habits
How to tell when you are "in love" and whether this will last
How to determine four levels of commonality with the person you are dating
How to accurately evaluate your date in the shortest amount of time
Tips for keeping dating productive as well as fun
Tools for discovering your date's true character
The following questions are discussed in Part 1:
1. What is my desired outcome?
2. How can I tell When I'm in Love?
3. Am I attracted to who people are or to what they have or what they can do for me?
4. What do we have in common - and does it matter?
5. What type of person do I enjoy giving to?
6. Am I reliving the same bad date over and over again.
7. Am I spending as much time in product development as I am in marketing?
8. What do I like and respect about myself?
9. Who is my team?
10. Do I trust this is going to work out - that I will find my soul mate?
Part 2 focuses on the SpeedDating way and includes "SpeedDating pacing"and more questions.
11. Do I enjoy being with this person?
12. What are my thoughts telling me - which should I listen to and which should I ignore.
13. Is this an action, or my interpretation of an action?
14. Is this relationship ready for physical intimacy?
15. What am I going to learn during this date?
16. Did my date pass the team screen?
17. How does my date behave when not on a date?
18. What challenges will this relationship have, and am I prepared to handle or live with these challenges long-term?
You will also find out how to recognize a "shaper," "avoider," "defaulter," and "cynic."
The section on chemistry is intriguing. There are aspects of love that cannot be expressed verbally.
"If love is a feeling that mysteriously appears and disappears, how can we ever be certain that it won't suddenly disappear?" pg. 16
I could appreciate the section on how a "giver" and a "taker" can result in a painful situation. The taker has strong expectations that everyone should give to him and the giver often wants appreciation and doesn't receive it. As they say, giving to a taker is extremely painful. I think we all want to be appreciated for the gifts we give.
The section on self-esteem was enlightening. Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally might also mean you are willing to be more aware of the needs of others.
Never doubt that the small things count. Like how much TV a person watches or if they are interested in their health.
The aspect of sexual relations is intriguing and from a Jewish perspective, physical intimacy is the merging of two souls. So, when you are intimate with someone your souls join and a part of each soul is exchanged. I also loved the chapter on Soul Mates. Do soul mates exist? Apparently a soul mate is the person who will help you reach your fullest potential, tolerate your flaws and love you for who you are.
I don't think you can fully appreciate what a soul mate is until you have found them. I'm of the opinion that soul mates appear when you are supposed to change into who you are becoming and they don't normally appear a minute sooner.
A book that tries to take the pain out of the dating game. It is based on the worldwide success of SpeedDating events.
~The Rebecca Review
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
A FUN TO READ BOOK WITH LOTS OF EXCELLENT DATING ADVICE.
By A Customer
I think this book is GREAT! I really enjoyed reading it a lot. The author's style is very easy to read and yet offers solid, practical advice about how to avoid the pitfalls of dating and making bad choices in today's dog eat dog singles world. Lots of great, interesting first hand accounts from both the authors and people they know. I think that this book is a MUST for all singles, whether you are 19 or 59, male or female, a religious person or a non-religious person - it doesn't matter. This book has something important to say to everyone. As a man, I feel I particularly benefited from the insights I got into women - better than the Mars-Venus stuff. My only question is: Why didn't they write this book years earlier when I started dating?! A top notch book that every single person should read.
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